THE ANTI SOCIAL MEDIA ASSOCIATION

This Association is hereby founded by persons who have, on more than one occasion, opened an app without deciding to.

The Association exists to formally oppose social media, using channels made possible entirely by social media.

Any person who has typed a message, deleted it, and typed it again is automatically a member. No application is required. No one may resign.

Members shall not exceed a reasonable daily usage of social media. A reasonable amount has never been recorded and is not expected to be.

A post shall be judged not by what it says, but by how many times it was rewritten before saying it.

Going silent for one week shall be considered an achievement. Going silent for one month shall be considered suspicious. Members are encouraged to worry about each other accordingly.

A like is not agreement. A like is proof of presence. The Association makes no further claims about what it means to be seen.

Nothing said within the Association may be screenshotted, except the parts everyone secretly hopes will be.

The Association shall convene whenever two or more members are, at the same time, doing absolutely nothing else.

This Association shall be dissolved the day someone actually manages to log off. Until then, it remains, regrettably, active.