Thoughts On Low Birth Rate

Today I opened Weibo and saw three trending headlines:

Experts claim it is wrong that young people are not having children.
Experts suggest that capable and responsible people should have more children.
Experts claim that children are long-cycle durable consumer goods.

Here is my response:

i.
So-called experts have contributed little to social development. Many of them probably hold state-backed positions, clutching their iron rice bowls while spewing bullshit all day to attract attention. This is not right.

ii.
If “capable” simply means having money, then rich people will naturally keep producing offspring—some of them would happily have two hundred.

iii.
If “capable” refers instead to hyperactive sperm—the kind that could impregnate every urinal in a public restroom with a single piss—then without money to raise a child, reproduction still isn’t an option.

iv.
“Responsibility” is a form of moral blackmail. What it really means is this: even if you have no power, no wealth, no status, you are still expected to endure having your head shoved into a urinal by others.

v.
As for turning children into durable consumer goods, here is my proposal—using a daughter as an example:
In infancy, she should be treated as Xiaohongshu content and monetized for traffic.
At three, her naive, stupid remarks should be recorded and uploaded to generate more views.
At six, videos of her dancing in a gymnastics outfit can be used to attract a more targeted audience.
At ten, she should be sent to a shoe factory; if she’s smart, an electronics factory to tighten screws.
At fifteen, once her body is mostly developed, she can post soft-core sexual content online to bait viewers, and sell her body offline.
At twenty, she can be sold to someone else as a reproductive machine in exchange for bride price.
Finally, at forty, moral blackmail can be deployed to force her to provide elder care.

vi.
The primary reason for low birth rates is that people no longer know what love is. Economic factors come second.

vii.
When urgent problems arise, sending so-called experts to shout statements that do nothing but anger young people suggests a desire for the storm to grow even more violent. If that’s not the case, then this society may simply be intellectually disabled. If even the experts are idiots, then who isn’t?

viii.
Future news headlines would be better off dropping the word “expert” altogether. If someone has a claim or an opinion, put their full name on it. People who hide behind this filthy placeholder tend to have sperm with absolutely no vitality.

viiii.
The Chinese language urgently needs a revolution of subjects.♦︎